is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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