I wish I could teleport
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
