Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
