But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
