i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
