why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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