Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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