Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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