I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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