all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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