that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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