ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
tell me about the fingering
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