Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
