That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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