I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
