Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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