Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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