So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just had sex on a roof
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
