yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
