Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
