and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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