can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
