I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
