Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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