how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
