so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
