If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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