What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
