Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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