i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
