:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
