Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
