She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
