if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
