I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
