We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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