You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
