We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
