i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
