Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
