I bet he comes in French.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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