1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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