Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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