yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
