i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
