You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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