How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
