oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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