He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
