I seem to have left my pride at pride
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
