All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
