drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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