hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize