is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
