Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
