EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
