so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize