Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
