So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
