So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
